I suspect my wife is cheating

Mail from a reader

Hi readers. I am not an ardent social media person, but I heard about this blog from a colleague of mine in the office.
I have read some stories that I find challenging and quite intriguing on this blog in few hours. But I chose two blogs to share my story on. I want to share my story and hear what most ladies have to say on this.

My name is Oluwasegun (real name) and I have been married to a beautiful and intelligent woman for the past 5years and to the glory of God we have raised 2 awesome sons together. Before I got married I had a small fish pond business I was running right in my father’s compound. I couldn’t get a job after graduation so I decided to focus my attention on my small scale business.


I met my wife in one of Nigeria’s top banks when I went to open an account for my business. I didn’t know what it entailed to open an account so I was directed to the customer care unit. She told me the procedures and asked me to bring the necessary documents whenever I am ready to open the account. Before the end of that week I got the documents ready and took it to the bank. But at the back of my mind there was more to my haste. I wanted to get to know her better, and since I didn’t notice any ring on her finger, I just assumed she was single. Her thoughts couldn’t just let me be.

So after two weeks I went to the same bank and went straight to the customer unit. To cut the whole long story short, we dated for 6months before we decided to tie the knot. Three months into marriage I got a job in one of the communication sector and our financial status was balanced, after my wife had our second son, I was transferred to a neighbouring state. I was there for six months and communication between me and my wife was okay to my understanding. I got home at the end of the six months and just few days after my arrival I noticed some changes in my wife. First was her blackberry. I went through her mobile phone and saw the conversation she had with this particular guy.

When I confronted my wife about it, she said he was a former school mate and she said she was only flirting with him because she didn’t want to be rude to him. It came as a shock to my hearing, but I just didn’t want to raise any alarm. Then I noticed again that her dressing has also changed. She started wearing revealing and clingy cloths. I thought she was doing it to make me notice her because of the few months we spent apart, but I was wrong, she was doing it to please the same guy that was among her blackberry contacts. 

Another thing I noticed again was that her mobile phone became her right hand, the phone was with her wherever she was, even in the bathroom. After quiet monitoring, I realised she was dating this guy. I confronted her and she denied and then I knew it was a blatant lie. I am not the kind of guy that stays out or keep friends. I also don’t like involving third parties but when I decided to talk to her mother about it, she said as long as I didn’t catch her red handed I should keep my mind at rest.

My wife has given me every reason to doubt her innocence yet she keeps denying it. Looks like she is just taking my simplicity for granted and honestly at this point I don’t know what to do or who to talk to. I need advice